MUNGO EATS Latin America

If there is a hell, and it is different for every person, I know my eternal damnation will be to be continuously standing in line ups in Latin America.  In these eternal line ups, the noise will be unbelievably loud and Latino clerks will be sitting behind little glass windows.  I will not be able to hear a word they say, and even if I can hear them, I will not understand a single word they say.  I will have endless stacks of papers to send through these glass windows and all the papers will be wrong, or I will forever be missing THE essential paper!!!!

This morning Kevin and I left the kids and the dog at the hostel and we drove across the isthmus of Panama to Colo’n.  Our van would be shipped from Colo’n, Panama to Cartagena, Colombia.  It takes about an hour or so to drive to Colo’n on a nice, smoothly paved toll road.  We left at about 7:30 this morning and got off the toll road at about 8:45.  It was raining quite heavily, but we were making good time.  Then we stopped.  Dead.  No movement in the traffic for at least 20 minutes.  Eventually, it started to crawl along.  It turns out the road was flooded, and traffic could not get across until the rain slowed and the flood receded a bit.  I know that sometimes you get a freak storm in an area where you don’t expect as much rain, but aren’t crazy rainstorms the “norm” out here.  The road shouldn’t flood, should it?  In any case,  we wasted a whole hour working our way through the flooded road traffic.  We found the dock, eventually, and we found the office of our shipping company as well.  Our first step was to get our van checked out  of the country by the customs office.  We were unsure where this office was and falsely assumed it would be near the docks.  While there is a customs window at the dock, it is not the same customs that “checks you out”, as the man standing behind the glass window let us know in a very loud voice…you need a paper that says salida (exit), not entrada (entrance).  He would not explain to us where we would get a salida paper, so we went back to the shipping company for some help.  They found out what we needed, where to get it and actually found us a guy to go with us to get the paper.  Have I mentioned these “helpers” before.  They are guys that hang around borders, and I guess shipping docks, and hope that someone will come along that they can help get through the necessary paper work in the least amount of time.  They expect to be paid for their services. 

Our helper today was the most annoying person I have ever met, although  Ana from Costa Rica rates a close second.  First he directed us to the “correct” customs office, which honestly, we NEVER would have found on our own, so good for him for helping, but OMG, half the time he was hanging out the window screaming at someone or other on the street, or telling Kevin to “go, go, go” into oncoming traffic.  He and Kevin went into the office, but he needed a bribe to give the Jefe (boss), so that they could work through the line faster.  Oh, also the clerk needed a bribe as well.  We got our necessary document and then it was back to the port.  Oh, but wait, first we had to go to the bank to pay (CASH), for the shipping.  Our helper thought it  would be helpful to give the teller $5.00 as well.  WHY?  What did she do?  There was no line up and it’s a bank!!!  You go in, you pay money, that’s it.  No bribe required!!  Now back to the port to stand in the countless lines, back and forth and back and forth, until you finally have all the papers signed and double signed. The van is finally inspected, and it is supposed to be driven into a container by Kevin and sealed.  But it was raining today, so they were not putting vehicles in containers.  Doesn’t it rain every day for half the year???  If it keeps raining for the next couple of days, will our van ever make it into a container?

In any case, the van is no longer in  our hands.  We ended up taking a cab back to Panama City where we could forget the van problems and start working on a new set of problems.  I called the vet that was supposed to be getting Mungo a export permit, and he said he had run into problems, and that some of the dates he put into his letter didn’t really match some of my paperwork and so Mungo’s export certificate is not ready.  He will try to get it completed again tomorrow morning BEFORE 11:30, which is when we will be at the clinic hoping to pick up the paperwork.  Headache, after headache, after headache!!!!

We tried to get our hostel to arrange a cab for us in the morning.  Ideally it would be a 7 seater van so that we all can fit, plus the dog and the kennel and our luggage.  They typically use one fellow all the time, but there is no way to call him, they have to wait for him to call.  Just shoot me now!!!!

Better yet, pass the Scotch!!